My name is Durex Page 7
Just as she was preparing to play some games, the penguin icon on the right corner of her computer start to flicker. Durex clicked open the program, she was frighten by the large bold red words that appeared on the interface.
…… Durex, did you die? Call me back quick!
Such verbal abuse on QQ can only be no other than her friend, Linda.
When Durex connected with Linda, the following chat log appeared:
Durex: I’m coming.
Pig wants to fly: Lady, you finally logged on now?
Durex: … …
Pig wants to fly: Speak! Where have you been these days? How come your phone is unreachable? Don’t tell me, you’re dumping me? I’m telling you, you still owe me 1.8 yuan of soda money, don’t even think about dumping me!
Durex: Linda, you have misunderstood! My phone was stolen!
Pig wants to fly: Who are you trying to lie to? Who would steal your old discontinued Nokia?!
Durex: No kidding! The robber was riding a bike, he even took my fake Gucci handbag!
Pig wants to fly: No technical skills at all.
Durex: Linda, I’ll tell you something, I’m married.
Pig wants to fly: … _ … | | | Are you sleep walking again?
Durex: I haven’t slept walked in a long time … …
Pig wants to fly: You should lie less, back in dormitories, only I would sleep in the same bunk beds as you!
Durex: I didn’t lie to you, I’m married!
Pig wants to fly: If you’re married then my child can buy soy sauce!
Durex: … …
Like this the two of them chatted into the night.
Suddenly, Durex’s stomach starts to rumble.
All thanks to the President’s temper tantrums in the evening that caused her not to eat fully, now she’s hungry.
Double checking the time, it was already pass 12 o’clock, the President must be sleeping in his room by now, Durex turned off the computer and sneaked out of her room.
Her goal was the kitchen far from the stairs, such a massive villa surely there will be something to eat in the fridge, right?
However, because the villa was too huge, Durex couldn’t find the light switches so she had to move in the dark. Feeling her way to the kitchen she at least hit the wall three times, knocked N number of decorations and almost fell down eating dog excrement.
Turns out, the house being too big is a bad thing, if she was in her small apartment, she wouldn’t have to go far.
Durex complained while opening the refrigerator which was much higher than herself.
Once she opened the refrigerator door, she felt shocked.
Why is everything drinkable? There were bottles filled from the top to the bottom, she couldn’t see anything chewable. Finally in the middle of the pile of bottles, she found something different, taking a closer look, it turned out to be a bottle of tomato sauce!
ORZ, was the dinner they ate today was created out of thin air?
As she was busy wondering, suddenly the President’s voice was heard: “What are you looking for?”
Chapter 14 – Poached beef
The kitchen lights are suddenly lit, the President appeared behind, which scared Durex who just wanted to eat a late-night snack. After a moment, she noticed that the President was dressed in pyjamas, as if he just got out of his room.
Could it be the President was also hungry?
So Durex replied timidly: “I’m looking for food……” peeping at the object within the President’s hand, he should be able to find food to eat, right? However, when she saw the object within Light Muller’s hand she was shocked. Turns out to be disinfectant and a cotton swab!
“What happened to you?” She asked.
Light Muller turned slowly, lightly replied: “Applying medicine.” He then took the potion and sat next to the table, lifted his pyjama sleeve.
On his arm were several scratch marks.
For a moment Durex was surprised, she suddenly remembered when they crashed today, she didn’t even ask the President if he was injured. She vomited on him, but forgot to ask such an important thing, it isn’t right.
Thinking of this, Durex felt rather guilty.
“Let me help you apply the medicine!” She walked up and decides to make up for her mistakes.
“No need.” Light Muller spoke and proceed to open the bottle of Mercurochrome.
“Wait a minute!” Durex anxiously stepped forward to stop him, “Your wound only needs hydrogen peroxide disinfection!” She said, without any explanation took the cotton swab in Light Muller’s hands, “Come! Stretch out your hands.”
Light Muller was stunned and startled, he slowly stretched out his hand.
The room was quiet, only two people’s breathing was heard. The hands that was held by her, came a steady body heat, making one forgetting about the wound pain.
“Oh, why is it so deep, the skin is also broken … …” Durex kept on muttering in a low voice as she swabbed the disinfectant, “suffering injuries and don’t even speak up, why if it’s tetanus? So stupid!”
“What are you talking about?” Light Muller suddenly coldly spoke.
Sh*t! Durex was scared, she accidentally spoke her thoughts out loud.
“Nothing!” She quickly shook her head.
“You just said something stupid……”
Durex quickly took over: “I mean, I was foolish, I didn’t even realise you were injured!” After she finished speaking, in her heart she despised herself 1000 times.
Light Muller recover his glaze and lightly hummed: “At least you still have a little self-knowledge.”
》o《
`Turns out, saying more will only result in more mistakes, in order to prevent a recurrence of that sort of low-level mistakes, Durex decided not to speak, and quietly accomplished the great task of applying the disinfectant for the President.
However, when one does not make a sound in such a huge house, under such circumstances is likely to cause human mind’s to wonder off. Particularly Durex’s poor self-control head, as she applied the medicine her mind constantly wondered about, when a word suddenly jumped out, it shocked Durex.
——A man and a women alone in a room…
Calmly thinking, it appears at a time and place like this, such hands and posture, along with the physical contact of their hands and touch emitting warmth … … it’s really hard to tell others not to think towards the sexually explicit direction!
Just then, a glaze from above happened to fall upon her.
Feeling this glaze, Durex couldn’t resist but secretly glance towards that direction.
Sure enough, the President was staring at her, his dark eyes stood motionless, as if he could see through her.
When their eyes collided, such ambiguity in the night, an adultery is bound to happen!
Suddenly, a voice broke the silence of the night.
When Durex regain her conscious, she had her head down while blushing, her voice was like a mosquito: “I’m hungry……”
She thought the President would despise her “not eating a full dinner and go looking for supper late into the night” bad conduct. The result, once she turned around, a piece of beef was placed in front of her.
Her stomach was obviously growling, however facing the bowl of beef, Durex was not happy.
President, you’re fooling with me, ain’t you?
This is raw ah!!
But the President coldly threw three words at her: “You grill it.”
“Well, I’m not hungry……” Durex desperately touch her belly. To be honest, she only know how to cook three dishes in her life … … Instant noodles and vegetables, instant noodles and tomatoes, instant noodles and sausages.
But the President apparently wasn’t going to let her off that easily.
He gracefully rolled down his sleeves, and then gracefully spoke up: “I’m hungry.”
……
If everything can be rewind and done again, Durex would rather starve than go downstairs looking for late-night snacks. The idea of this evil thought, she now has to serve as chef and prepare late-night snacks for the President to eat.
Looking at this piece of beef, Durex only had one thought in mind: Beef ah beef ah, why are you not a packet of instant noodles?
On the left there was the President she couldn’t afford to offend, while on the right there was the Beef King, finally Durex grit her teeth: Beef King, I’m sorry but you will have to be instant noodles!
As one can imagine, when the bowl of cooked beef is used as instant noodles was placed in front of Light Muller, how ugly his facial expression was.
“What is this?” He asks without any expression on his face.
“Convenient … … Ah no! It is poached beef!” Durex guilty answered.
Sure enough, the President frowned: “Can you eat this thing?”
“It… should… be… possible… maybe … perhaps…”
“……”
Durex never thought that this bowl of convenient … … Ah no! This poached beef is actually edible! After eating the first piece of beef, the President paused and picked up a second piece.
Durex’s heart suddenly lit up with hopes: “Is it good?”
“It’s horrible to death.”
Unpalatable? Her new-found confidence was dampened.
She knew it’s no where that delicious, however unpalatable to that level is a bit too exaggerated, right? She can cook instant noodles in three different ways!
“I don’t believe you, let me try it.” Durex unwilling to admit defeat.
“There’s no need.” Light Muller stops her.
“No, I must try it and see for myself!” Durex unwilling to let it go.
“Do you think I’m lying to you?”
“……”
The President continues to eat.
Five minutes later.
“…… I’m hungry, can you let me taste it?”
“You just said you weren’t hungry?”
“……”
After another five minutes, the President was still eating! He ate while shaking his head.
Durex was angry: “Since it’s so awful, why do you still eat it?”
“If I don’t eat, isn’t it too wasteful?”
“……”
Thus, under the President’s powerful aura, Durex can only hopelessly watch as he ate the entire plate of the “horrible to death” beef.
He didn’t even left her any beef residue!
After the meal, the President shook his head and commanded: “Starting tomorrow, you will follow Wu Aunty to learn how to cook a dish each day.”
Chapter 15 – Luxury mansion without the president, Durex is the king
These days, Durex have been having nightmares every night.
She dreamt about the pot of beef coming alive, it grew arms and legs coming towards her while grabbing her by the neck it shouted: “Cook me again! Cook me again!!!”
Every time she woke up she would be covered in cold sweats.
So with this cycle, Durex vulnerability had collapsed after seeing the steak on the table.
“Beef King, a wrong has its instigator, wanting to cook you wasn’t me, you really have to stop seeking me out, please please……”
“What are you muttering?” Light Muller who was having breakfast frowned.
“Nothing, I’m praying.” Durex replies.
“Do you believe in Christ?”
Durex shook her head: “I believe in the beef.”
-_-|||
After breakfast, old housekeeper Yu brought the suit, suggesting that the President need to go out to revitalize the international economy. At this time, Durex’s mood was particularly bright.
Soon, Jason who was wearing that abstract shirt appeared at the gate on time, seeing Durex, Jason bow respectfully and said, “Good morning, Madame.”
Hearing this horrifying title coming from Jason, Durex has long been accustom to it. And, compared to the tough and vengeful President, Jason is a good subject to have a conversation with.
So, while the President went upstairs to change his clothes, Durex moved closer to Jason’s side, staring that washed shirt, the light yellow blot on the shirt could still be seen.
Because that day he said the wrong thing, Jason had to wear this shirt a whole week, and he has taken steps to prove this timeless truth, “Company a king is just accompanying a tiger”.
Surrounded by the Madame President observing him up and down, Jason felt a bit uneasy: “Madame, may I ask what can I do for you?”
“Jason, aren’t you tired of running behind the President and praising him every day?”
Jason hesitated and said, “I’m not tired! It is an honor to work behind the President.”
Honoured? Durex’s entire body felt cold all over.
“The President is not here, you no longer have to flatter him!” Patting Jason’s shoulder, Durex said in a heroic tone, “I see you’re almost in tears wearing this shirt, it must be very uncomfortable? No wonder he is so overbearing, he never listens to the opinions of others, once he is unhappy will scapegoat others, his mind is full of blight on capitalism…… “
“Madame, you … … don’t say any more.” Jason’s facial expression was somewhat ugly.
“What does it matter!” Durex said happily and in the moment, she wasn’t willing be interrupted. So she continues to talk and accuse, “Do you know how overbearing the President is? He actually asked me to cook beef for him every day! Does he think beef are instant noodles? When he wants it cook, he expect it done right away! Even worse is that he says its unpalatable while also eating the entire bowl, after he finishes he complains I didn’t improve, saying I don’t even know how to cook a bowl of beef … …”
“Madame… …” Jason was almost in tears.
But Durex don’t take him seriously, and continued to speak about as her arms excitedly had a dance performances, causing Jason who was standing there, wanting to leave but unable to.
Durex vent her belly full of complaints, Jason has been embarrassed and felt awkward further more.
“Well, you also think it’s too much?” Durex asked.
“It’s quite excessive.” A faint sound spoke behind her.
“That’s right la” Durex said to that point and froze.
Pre… … President!!!
Feeling that things weren’t good Durex mechanically slowly turned her head, still holding onto a glimmer of hope to live: “You … … What time did you arrive?”
Light Muller emotionlessly replied: “When you said evil of capitalism.”
Never in her life did Durex hate herself this much as she did now, why did she say evil of capitalism? If she said socialist characteristics would have been much better! Great, now the President is angry!
(>_<)
However, on the contrary to Durex’s this time the President wasn’t even angry, instead of anger, his attitude was unusually kind.
“These days you are home, go to the hospital to see Grandma more, she likes you a lot.”
“Uh … …” Durex nodded blankly.
“Go to bed earlier, and don’t go on the internet too much.”
“Uh … …” Durex continued nodding.
“If there anything, give me a call.”
“Uh……”
“Here, this is for you.”
“Uh……”
“Then I’m going.”
“Oh … … wait wait!” Durex suddenly regain her conscious, Light Muller was already at the gate. She rushed out and shouted, “Where are you going?”
In the huge yard, came the voice of the President in the light wind: “Business trip.”
Business trip, business trip, business trip… …
The word reverberated in Durex’s head for a long long time, and then she suddenly regain he
r conscious: The President is going on a business trip!!!
At that moment, as if the haze in the sky was swept away, the brilLightt sunshine returned to Earth, Durex felt life was full of glory, once again it lit up.
Goodbye, Beef King!
Goodbye, nightmares!
Goodbye, oppression!
Durex messy laughing in the wind: I, Durex the King is back!!!
She almost ran back to her room, Durex started rolling around on the bed and rolled out again onto the mattress jumping around, when she got tired of dancing, she continued to lay on the bed … …
This madness lasted for a while, she suddenly stopped, paused for a moment and was depressed.
What’s the difference when the President isn’t home?
It would be——eating, sleeping, playing beans!
besides being depressed, Durex decided to talk with Linda.
“Linda, are you free? Let’s go shopping.”
“Shopping?” Linda voice came through the phone, “Durex, you have the money to go shopping, but no money to repay me? Hurry and pay me back, you still owe me 1.8 Yuan soda money!”
Money?
Speaking of this, Durex’s high spirit came crashing down once again.
Since she moved here and given the apartment back to the landlord, and the mercenaries for breaching her contact plus the two months rent! And she just repaid her credit card debt … …
Credit card?
Durex’s eyes light up! Before the President left, it appears he placed something into her hand what could it be … … She looked around, and sure enough in bed she found that something called credit card!
Seeing the credit card, Durex’s fragile little mind cannot suppress her rising excitement.
Finally! Finally an scence on television has appeared! Usually the rich and powerful actor will pass a credit card to the heroine, then handsomely say: “Take it,the pin is your birthday.”
It seems that what appears on TV isn’t entirely a lie, there are advantages marrying into the rich and powerful!
“Hey, Durex, what’s going on with you?”
“Linda, I got the money!”